|
|
|
Bob's biography is being written. In his child-like mind there is no need for a professional author, how hard can it be to write a book, anyway?
|
|
|
|
Harder than he first thought, apparently. While Bob struggles with the computer, Vinnie is on the phone, presumably to a help line. They need help, alright.
|
|
|
|
In between bouts of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire they decide they need someone who can type while they throw ideas around.
|
|
|
|
And so Beverley is roped into the project. For £200 a day (cash, and tell Vinnie that it's £50), she will record their ramblings.
|
|
|
|
Bob recites his life story, with occasional input from Vinnie. What they really need, they decide, is a researcher. A cheap researcher...
|
|
|
|
Now Timmy is in on the job. He interviews Bob's mother, who gives him a whole new version of Bob's childhood. At least we learn his real name - Clifford Lacey.
|
|
|
|
The book is beginning to look more and more unlikely. If it is to stand any chance, Bob must get permission from a number of people to use stories about them. Here Sir Jimmy Saville makes it clear that Bob can't put him in the book. I don't suppose Sir Jimmy has played many intimidating roles before, but carried it off very well.
|
|
|
|
That's it then. No Book. There still one option, though, a documentary. After all, Bob Holness gave permission for Bob to use the hilarious story about the time Timmy spilt Ribena all over him.
|
|
|
So here's Bob back at the block of flats where he claims he grew up, although he can't remember exactly which flat it was. Bob Holness, too, has different memories about the Ribena incident. It was water and he had spare trousers anyway.
A book about Bob Martin growing up? Impossible - because he never did.
|
